Playing with our Expectation!

I find myself again at the point in the module where everything becomes topsy-turvy! For me each module is a roller-coaster of learning, and emotions, at the centre of the roller-coaster is a perpetual loop-the-loop. When I find myself here, my first reaction is mild confusion, building through queasiness to wild panic. However, I have learnt through the last two modules, when I begin this cycle to return to reading... Holistically it guides me, not out of the loop, but instead lets me experience the highs and lows of the cycle with my eyes open. Each new loop helping me to discover and reassess what I am experiencing and understanding.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to attend last Sunday's Skype discussion, so I have spent the week reading, with interest, all your posts and ideas about expectations. My research centres around the experience of 'play'. Through Heidegger and Gadamer I have come to understand that knowledge is gained through the play of our 'prejudgements' (expectations) and our new experiences (texts). 

As we encounter new ideas and experiences, we anticipate our future understanding of that experience. This anticipation is based on what we already know and understand, generated through the experiences we have already had. The new experience (text) will either substantiate or challenge our expected understanding. The former will help us to develop our original understanding and the latter will initiate a process of adaptation leading to new understanding and perspectives. Without our expectations or 'prejudices' we would be like a white-board wiped clean after each experience.

When we choose to engage with a text (experience) we bring our prejudgments/expectations/prejudices into 'play' with the new experience. We willingly decide to risk what we understand by opening it up and exposing it to 'otherness'. It is the play between the new and our anticipated understanding, that creates an in-between experience, which guides the process of understanding.

Each module asks us to engage with our 'prejudgements' and bring them into play with new ideas introduced to us on this MA - Ideas from philosophy, from our tutors, from our peers and from our lived experiences. By choosing to be here, we have put ourselves 'in the game.'

As with all play it is important to take the game seriously, in so doing, we can fully immerse ourselves in play - Gadamer states only through complete immersion in play can we create a state 'of being outside oneself' a state which creates 'the positive possibility of being wholly with someone else'. For me the key word in this quote is 'with' - play allows us to participate in a shared experience 'with' others. Understanding develops from new experience/text 'with' our original prejudgment/expectations. The knowledge is created between these two states, one does not limit or surpass the other.

My research inquiry has been built out of my expectations - I am now at the in-between stage, my job is to analyse the experience of my inquiry and the data collected 'with' my expectations. I must be open to the play between all the ideas emerging. Some will substantiate the concepts that led me to be interested in my line of inquiry, and others will challenge what I anticipated to understand. Being open to both is the most important rule to 'the game'

Gadamer H G: Truth and Method. Translated by Weinsheimer & Marshall. 2nd revised edition. New York: Continuum 2000

Heidegger M Being an Time. Translated by Macquarrie & Robinson. New York, Harper & Row Publishers, 1962

My MAPP map and MORE

Having worked my way through the handbook again, I am beginning to see it as a map (a MAPP map) and like all maps the more you get to know the terrain the easy it is to spot your route through it.
On my first journey through, all the roads seemed equally interesting and I spent a lot of time meandering off the beaten track.
Second time; I was more aware of where the routes would lead but still got diverted by points that interested me on the way.
Third time and I'm able to keep to a focused journey, there are still byways I want to explore, to see if they lead somewhere surprising, but I'm now secure that the map (handbook) will steer me back to where I feel I need to be - Hooray a little progress.

I also took a look at the MORE form - I'm quite adept at grant forms, my process is to look at the actual form as early as possible. I fill in all the sections I can immediately (name, address etc), note down all the questions I know how to fill in, but need more time to do them justice. Then I note all the sections that don't mean anything to me and need more research. All I can say is even for someone used to forms, it's large! My advise would be to familiarise yourselves with it as soon as possible.

Don't re-invent the wheel!

I had been going round and round my bubble-circles of ideas for my research inquiry, with each circle another realisation, another question I need to ask before that question, before this question, before I reach the question that is relevant to my 'nagging thought of inquiry'. When I remembered reading in the handbook 'Don't reinvent the wheel!'

So I thought about my research questions - especially the ones that I feel I need to understand before I can carry out my research, but I don't want to make my whole research about them. I typed them into Ecosia (a new search engine that plants a tree for every search you do) - And WOW, there was a whole world of articles, books, Ted talks, choreography's to help me fill in the gaps and begin to hone what it is I am really curious about. It's like leap-frogging forward instead of wallowing around stuck and overwhelmed.

I haven't read, watched, listened to them all yet, I am in my foraging stage - but it's great to know they are there, I feel like I have a team of great dance artist and researchers in my corner, who's interests overlap with mine and who's hard work is something I can use to help me turn my 'nagging thoughts' into a fully fledged inquiry question.

Looking Back - Moving Forward

I am excited to be starting module two and getting stuck into the process of pinning down my research inquiry, but it seemed appropriate (on this course) to begin module two, by looking back and reflecting on our learning from module one.

I learnt a lot from the process of the AOLs and the final essay and with the help of Adesola's feedback, I came to understand that it is something about ending and beginning again (the part in the middle) that enabled me to clarify my thinking to begin to move forward. I think I explained this a little better in my response to Adesola:

"it was interesting to me that the moment the essays were submitted my mind starting understanding the theories that threaded through Module one in a more complete way, as if in the act of ending everything became clearer. It is possible, with more time, I would have reached the same understanding and articulated this more clearly in the essay, however, I feel it has something to do with the process of finishing and beginning again, as you and Helen have said ‘the place in the middle’ that helps connect the learning."

Connection is so important for the learning process on this course and I am determined (like others have said) to make full use of all the exciting connections made possible by the blogs and Skype. For those who are starting module one I wanted to post a little thought I had in my 'review of learning' essay about the learning journey this MA affords us and the connections we make;

"I understand each student on this course comes from a different set of experiences, the connection we have is this MA and dance. The combination of learning from this MA and our prior experience, is unique for each of us, the connections we make allows knowledge to develop in a connectivist way.  By blogging about our reflections and ideas, we are each adding to the learning journey of the whole group, by framing these journeys in this MA, enables us to move forward individually but connected. Through Skype and blogging, I encounter theories and knowledge I didn’t know I was looking for, sometimes this causes immediate development of learning, affecting my research and sometimes it adds to my ‘slow-cooker’ of ideas, to dip into when ready."

So, welcome to all those beginning the journey, I am looking forward to hearing your unique perspective, and for all us 'veterans' thank you for all the inspiration so far, I'm going to do my best to share my journey, research, theories and ideas as often as possible. 

Reflecting on reflecting on my learning

I am just coming up for air from my journey through the AOL's - It is interesting unpicking the process for my Personal Reflections essay

I found the road through the AOL's at times like quicksand sucking me under drowning in self-doubt, then through the doubt, a realisation, a means to articulate something I knew I understood but couldn't quite conceptualise. Through the process of articulation, I came to understand both  what I already knew and the next step on the path ahead, the next step of research. Which inevitable led to more doubt, more quicksand, more moments of articulation and more paths of research.

Reflecting on this process my mind wandered back to a blog Adesola posted 'Ways of Doing Art...' 04/11/19. At the time of first watching Tim Ingold's lecture I was deep in the world of AOL's but I knew I wanted to re-engage with it today with a slightly clearer mind. 

So much of what is said chimes with the new paths I am finding to explore, below are three 'precious' gems which I wanted to share and explore later;

RESEARCH 

RE    SEARCH

literally means

SEARCH  AGAIN

'Research is the pursuit of truth through the practice of curiosity and care'

Curiosity - Care - Curate

 come from the Latin Curare meaning to look after

It is this link between research and it's ethical implications that is swirling around inside me waiting for me to find the articulation to make what I know known.

My thoughts/questions

When research is embodied it has to be done with care, there is simple no other way!

So, what does that mean for non-embodied research?

What are the practicalities of marrying the two in this MA?

I'm off now for more Research to search again what I know and what I don't know...